The Fuck Boy-Fuck Girl Cycle
This is a theory I’ve been subconsciously studying and observing for more than a year now through social gatherings, friend’s stories and unfortunately, I’ve had my fair share of experiences to substantiate my social experiment.
First, let’s define the terminologies:
Fuckboy/Fuckgirls
Gone are the days when we call them “Players” or “Playboys”. They have evolved into something more complicated than just sleeping around and having multiple partners all at one time. These players have evolved into emotional whores – he/she will fuck with your feelings and act like it’s not their fault. The fault is always yours. They never agreed on reciprocating your feelings. He/she enjoys the girlfriend/boyfriend privileges you provide but will never commit to you.
Lines like “I like you but I’m not ready to commit yet... but let’s hang out” will be thrown here and there.
The frustrating part of it is that every time you go out to grab dinner, he/she will make you feel like an idiot for calling it a “date”. The more proper term for it is “hanging out”.
Not all fuckboys/fuckgirls sleep around or have multiple partners. Some don’t even intend on being one. Some focuses on self-improvement and career development and they only have you as a partner but too scared to commit to you because you are not currently his/her priority.
Some players from the good ol’ days are very vigilant about being seen in public with other girls. Yes, they date other girls/guys but they still care about being seen in public because at some point, their moral compass still provides them with some sort of conscience. On the other hand, fuckboys/girls don’t even care if they get tagged on their friend’s photos kissing another person from the opposite sex and won’t mind if you see them too. I mean, hey! They’re technically single.
Now that I’ve stated some signs to know if you’re currently dating one, let’s figure out their kind.
In my opinion, there are 2 types of Fuckboys/Fuckgirls:
1. The Classic Fuckboy/Fuckgirl
He/she knows he/she is a fuckboy and they’re damn proud of it. They will tell you right away that they’re just in it for fun. They’re confident and he knows he/she can get you to fall for him/her easily. He will tell you about his experiences with other women and will expect you to be numb during the whole conversation. The good thing about this is, you know for a fact that he just wants one thing from you and I guess it’s safe to say that it’s not your hand in marriage.
Why fall for him: Most women are generally attracted to “bad” boys because they still have hopes that he might change to become one of the “good” ones and she’s holding on to the dream that she’s the kryptonite to her Superman.
Why fall for her: You like the fact that she knows what she wants and knows how to get it. You like the fact that she’s pretty chill about the whole situation. You’re already getting what most men want from her but you’re still wondering how is it to be actually loved by her. She was once upon a time a good girl and the thought of bringing that back make you fall even harder.
2. The Nice Fuckboy/Fuckgirl
This is the dangerous kind. They will still be up front about being uncommitted but they will make you fall in love unconsciously. They’re your dream guy/girl. They will treat you well, bring you food, check up if you’re sick but you’re still locked within their terms. They will only text you when they feel like it. They will tell you that you can talk to them about anything but it would take hours or even days for them to reply. You are not their priority. They’re still talking to other girls/boys. They may or may not tell you but he will make sure at some point to still reiterate that he/she has no obligation to return the compliments you are willingly giving to him/her.
Why fall for him: He’s nice and he explains the situation like it makes sense. He makes you feel like the whole situation is highly beneficial for you as well.
Why fall for her: You get the girlfriend privileges without the commitment but you still hate the thought that she may be also doing those things to another guy. You know for a fact that she’s not just doing it for you and this pain confuses your feelings and eventually make you fall for her because she is unattainable – a challenge. And you like challenges.
Given these insights, let me explain to you the Fuckboy-Fuckgirl Cycle:
PHASE 1: FUCK BOY MEETS NICE GIRL
As I’ve mentioned, women are generally attracted to men who needs to be fixed. We have an innate sense of nurturing someone and guiding them to get back on the right track. Thus, nice girls tend to get reeled in by fuckboys.
Consequently, the nice girl’s heart will get broken because she will then realize that he will never change for her.
PHASE 2: NICE GIRL TURNS INTO FUCK GIRL
After getting her heart broken one too many times, she will eventually build walls around her and use what she learned to make sure that it will not happen again. Her personality will change. Everything will. She will become stronger and some might even mistake her for being a bitch because she doesn’t take bullshit from anyone.
Ladies and gentlemen, your nice girl is now a fuck girl.
PHASE 3: FUCK GIRL MEETS NICE BOY
She will still meet a bunch of fuckboys but as much as we think that it’s only a myth, nice guys still exist and unfortunately, some of them get attracted to women who have been screwed over by fuckboys which eventually turned them into fuckgirls.
Fuck Girl then accepts the affection, gifts and sweet gestures of Nice Boy but it will be hard for her to reciprocate the feelings. The concept of genuine affection is foreign to her. She will eventually break his heart and soul. And then…
PHASE 4: NICE BOY TURNS INTO FUCK BOY
It takes a really big heartbreak for a nice boy to eventually snap. He will start working on improving his physique, gain confidence, earn money and strive to become someone better. He will start thinking about the type of guy that the Fuck Girl fell in love with --- Fuck Boys.
Thus, the cycle repeats itself and most of us end up playing the field and starting to feel hopeless about getting the love we deserve.
Don’t lose hope. We still have time to look for the one who deserves our heart and soul. You just have to know what you deserve and go for it. I’d rather be picky than end up jumping from one relationship to another.
We will eventually find love and end this cycle.